To stop the cycle of domestic abuse and violence, it’s key to catch it when boys and girls are young, according to the experts at WomenShelter of Long Beach.
“Often parents think that since the kids are in another room, they won’t know what’s going on,” said Marissa Gonzalez, WomenShelter’s youth services coordinator. “Or they think they’re too young to remember. But they don’t forget.
“They learn that this is an OK way to express anger,” she added.
Since 1977, WomenShelter of Long Beach has been providing safety and support for victims of domestic violence. And since 2003, Grunion Gazette readers have supported that work during the annual Gift Card Drive, making Christmas season a little better for all, but particularly for the youngsters.
Almost 10% of the clients at WomenShelter’s resource center on Atlantic Avenue are children. And more than a thousand teens attended education sessions last year, during which they learned to recognize signs of domestic violence and how to avoid it.
Studies have shown that those who experience domestic violence when they are young are more prone to either become an abuser or a victim themselves, Gonzalez said. A 16-week counseling and training curriculum is designed to help youngsters to stop blaming themselves for what their parents do and to find better ways to express their feelings.
“We work on anger management, on expressing feelings,” Gonzalez said. “They’re dealing with the family separation. Sometimes they blame the mom for the separation, and that’s who they are with.
“We provide a space for healing and learning,” Gonzalez added, “and how to express themselves in appropriate ways.”
Control of the other person is almost always a motivation for domestic violence. Children, Gonzalez said, often try to control what’s happening, and depression or worse results when violence occurs anyway.
“With our program, they learn that it’s not their job to control others,” she said. “You only have control over yourself.”
Holidays, particularly Christmas, often are difficult for children after a separation. They miss family traditions and the feel-good atmosphere of a home at the holidays — even if that atmosphere is forced.
“Exactly what the holidays mean is different for each child,” Gonzalez said. “Some of them might still be in contact with the father, but it isn’t the same. And those who (aren’t) have a very difficult time.”
That’s where the Grunion Gazette Gift Card Drive comes in. A few Christmas presents and a nice meal isn’t going to magically make all the bad stuff go away, but it does provide a little relief — a little joy at a time when it is greatly needed.
Grunion — and for the first time this year, Long Beach Press-Telegram — readers can help by donating gift cards or money. WomenShelter uses the donations to help families of domestic violence victims have a better Christmas, with both gifts and the ability to buy a good Christmas dinner. Then what remains is used all year long to help people get back on their feet.
It’s easy to donate. Gift cards of any type are gratefully accepted; cards to the big stores like Walmart and Target are valued because they are the most versatile.
Cash and checks are welcome as well. Checks should be made out to WomenShelter of Long Beach.
Cards and checks can be mailed to Gazette Newspapers Gift Card Drive, Attn. Harry Saltzgaver, 5225 E. Second St., Long Beach, CA 90803. They also can be dropped off at the Gazette office by putting them through the mail slot. Online donations can be made at womenshelterlb.org/grunion.
This year, all donors will be entered to win one of 25 pairs of tickets to the Aquarium of the Pacific or 10 $50 gift certificates to Sevilla. People should include a self-addressed envelope or address to receive tickets or gift certificates.
We’re just a couple of weeks away from the deadline to get the gift cards to Santa’s helpers at WomenShelter. Thanks in advance for everything you can do.
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Youth counseling key to stopping cycle of domestic violence at WomenShelter - Long Beach Press Telegram
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